We have all struggled with weight issues, be it that we need to lose weight or gain weight. We try diets, exercise, hypnosis, and psychotherapy among other “solutions” for resolve. Most of the time they don’t work.
Could it be that our weight issue comes from a past life? The following client came in with her weight issue and was surprised to find that it did in fact come from a past life.
The following is an excerpt from my book as one of many stories or lifetimes causing eating issues.
I Don’t Deserve to Eat
Silvia came to see me about feelings of unworthiness but one issue was causing her health to fail. Silvia was anorexic. She became frightened that the last doctor told her if she didn’t put on some weight soon that her organs would start failing her and she could die,
Let’s go back to the root of your eating disorder.
Silvia saw herself as a ten-year-old boy outside, working in a field but with no hair and what looked to her like pajamas. She felt great fear, as soon as I asked her how she felt emotionally. When I asked her when she saw her mother last, she remarked she was about eight years old and that there were many people yelling as they took her away from her frightened mother. Silvia was shipped off to a concentration camp along with other German children like herself. She felt very alone and hungry.
They found out that she knew how to play the piano. Silvia was quite an accomplished pianist at seven years old. Her mother started giving her lessons at four years old and she played like she had played for lifetimes. She would create and compose music for the piano as early as five and learned new music very quickly.
When the soldiers heard about her they requested she come to their quarters to play. They would reward her with fine food and drink. Silvia learned very quickly to please the soldiers in order to eat well. She would feel guilty since so many were so hungry. Silvia was also not a very strong boy. She was a bit frail in that life and was grateful not to have to carry the heavy stones that the other children were ordered to carry and not to have to get so dirty outside doing that chore. She had to share a bed with those other children on a dusty mattress with a torn grey blanket that smelled.
At age 15 Silvia said the Americans were trying to help and the war was almost over. Her job was not only piano playing anymore but to take her fellow Jews to the showers or ovens to be gassed or burned. She felt so much guilt that not only could she eat and stay clean but that she had to betray her own kind.
Silvia would sneak some food now to others to help rid her from the deep guilt she held from her new jobs. On one evening a soldier followed Silvia back to the barrack to witness her giving some of her food to the others. They pulled her out in front of the others and shot her for sharing her food.
If I kept my food I wouldn’t be put to death!
Awareness and Connection:
Silvia understood the importance of food in that life. She survived only because of her piano playing. She lived for years well fed and clean while her family and others starved and died around her. She carried so much guilt that finally when she had to bring the others to meet their death she no longer could take her guilt and gave them what food she could. Silvia saw why she felt she didn’t deserve to eat in this life. She felt she should be punished for all of those who died in the camps due to starvation, when she could eat.
We discussed that during those horrific times one had to focus on their own survival in order to stay alive. It was not her fault that the Germans made her do such awful jobs at the end, and if she rebelled, she surely would have been put to death even earlier.
The soldiers liked Silvia in that life due to her talents alone, but put her down when ever they got the chance. Watching her fellow Jews and herself be treated worse than dogs, Silvia came into this life feeling unworthy. Food was her only resolve of self-punishment here since others died due to starvation in that life.
Silvia was not surprised that she was in that lifetime. She always got physically ill when anyone would mention the camps or if she had any contact with any information about the camps. She was sad but fully understood what she was doing. I explained that she should now honor those that died of starvation and feed her well. This way she could feel healthy and worthy of being a Jew and a human being. It has taken months for Silvia to change her habits but she is finally eating well and honoring all those that perished during the holocaust from starvation.